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I don’t do fast food. It’s not because I’m a diva, but because I feel like I’m going to die at an early age if I put that stuff into my body. It’s subjecting yourself to a long, slow death. I guess I’ll start with McDonald’s, where fries are worth 500 calories or about a quarter of what you’re supposed to consume in a whole day. Then on to Wendy’s where you can order a sandwich with 640 calories/ 35 g of fat. I’d keep going, but I’m going to be ill if I think any more about artery clogging, hip sticking food.
There are times in life, however, when we have to “quit crying on get back on the horse” as my friend Katie says. A prime example of this took place when I was on the way home from Durango. It was a beautiful Independence Day. We’d decided to leave a day early and break the drive up into two days rather than tackle the 17 hour commute in a single day. The plan was perfect. We’d reach Amarillo by 8 p.m. at which time we’d have a nice, relaxing dinner followed by watching the fireworks celebrating another year of American freedom.
Then the nightmare began. My chauffer says to me, “I feel pretty good, I think we can drive on in to Wichita Falls before we stop. Then we can be home by lunch tomorrow.” I had mixed emotions about this, which were clarified moments later when Jeeves added, “we can just stop in Amarillo eat, then head on.”
“Not a bad idea,” I think to myself. I can just watch the fireworks in the car; killing two birds with one stone (I've never liked that expression, its cruel, but you get the point). I even began to sing (in my head), “Oooooh, life’s so sweet right here in the passenger seat.” –SHeDaisy, I think.
I need to be real clear right now. “STOPPING to eat” leaves no room for miscommunication in my mind. I eat like a man, and I have to be fed or I get all cranky. Now, when you STOP to eat, that means you pull the car crookedly into a parking space and don’t even straighten up because you’re so excited to get inside and get some grub. You speed walk to the door so that not a single other person gets seated before I’m served with water and menu in my comfy booth, preferably with dim lighting. That’s what happens when you STOP to eat. On this particular day though, it didn’t work quite like that. You see, my chauffer and I communicate a tad bit differently, and that’s how I ended up in front of a talking sign inquiring “Welcome to Taco Bell, would you like to try our cheesy beefy gordita?”
Teehee! What a funny boy! I laughed so hard. That’s a good one. Driving through a Taco Bell drive-thru before taking me somewhere without a lard infested selection. I tried to play along so I’d seem low-key and easy going. Then he placed his order and after a good 7 minutes of ordering the entire menu, turned to me sweetly and asked, “what do you want?”
I can remember only one other day that I felt this shocked and speechless, it was the day my pet hamster Trixi ran away in 2nd grade.
“It’s okay, I don’t want anything,” I said, still in shock with eyes as wide as my hips. “Are you sure? Its going to be a long time until we stop again.” I refuse, under all circumstances, to write in a public forum how this story turned out. The point is, sometimes we find ourselves in real sticky situations, so we make do. We put our big girl panties on, and we don’t let a little bit of "death in a paper bag" ruin our attitude, especially not when fireworks are to be seen.
With that being said, I have great coping skills. I’ve learned select items on various fast food menus that I can eat without feeling like my health is tainted. There is even one in which I’ve grown quite fond and its even found at the dynasty of fast food; McDonald’s. For only $1.00, you can indulge in the delicious fruit and yogurt parfait. Mine is just like theirs, only prettier.
Fiction: You can’t judge a book by its cover.
Fact: In all reality, you can learn a lot just by looking.
There are times in life, however, when we have to “quit crying on get back on the horse” as my friend Katie says. A prime example of this took place when I was on the way home from Durango. It was a beautiful Independence Day. We’d decided to leave a day early and break the drive up into two days rather than tackle the 17 hour commute in a single day. The plan was perfect. We’d reach Amarillo by 8 p.m. at which time we’d have a nice, relaxing dinner followed by watching the fireworks celebrating another year of American freedom.
Then the nightmare began. My chauffer says to me, “I feel pretty good, I think we can drive on in to Wichita Falls before we stop. Then we can be home by lunch tomorrow.” I had mixed emotions about this, which were clarified moments later when Jeeves added, “we can just stop in Amarillo eat, then head on.”
“Not a bad idea,” I think to myself. I can just watch the fireworks in the car; killing two birds with one stone (I've never liked that expression, its cruel, but you get the point). I even began to sing (in my head), “Oooooh, life’s so sweet right here in the passenger seat.” –SHeDaisy, I think.
I need to be real clear right now. “STOPPING to eat” leaves no room for miscommunication in my mind. I eat like a man, and I have to be fed or I get all cranky. Now, when you STOP to eat, that means you pull the car crookedly into a parking space and don’t even straighten up because you’re so excited to get inside and get some grub. You speed walk to the door so that not a single other person gets seated before I’m served with water and menu in my comfy booth, preferably with dim lighting. That’s what happens when you STOP to eat. On this particular day though, it didn’t work quite like that. You see, my chauffer and I communicate a tad bit differently, and that’s how I ended up in front of a talking sign inquiring “Welcome to Taco Bell, would you like to try our cheesy beefy gordita?”
Teehee! What a funny boy! I laughed so hard. That’s a good one. Driving through a Taco Bell drive-thru before taking me somewhere without a lard infested selection. I tried to play along so I’d seem low-key and easy going. Then he placed his order and after a good 7 minutes of ordering the entire menu, turned to me sweetly and asked, “what do you want?”
I can remember only one other day that I felt this shocked and speechless, it was the day my pet hamster Trixi ran away in 2nd grade.
“It’s okay, I don’t want anything,” I said, still in shock with eyes as wide as my hips. “Are you sure? Its going to be a long time until we stop again.” I refuse, under all circumstances, to write in a public forum how this story turned out. The point is, sometimes we find ourselves in real sticky situations, so we make do. We put our big girl panties on, and we don’t let a little bit of "death in a paper bag" ruin our attitude, especially not when fireworks are to be seen.
With that being said, I have great coping skills. I’ve learned select items on various fast food menus that I can eat without feeling like my health is tainted. There is even one in which I’ve grown quite fond and its even found at the dynasty of fast food; McDonald’s. For only $1.00, you can indulge in the delicious fruit and yogurt parfait. Mine is just like theirs, only prettier.
Fiction: You can’t judge a book by its cover.
Fact: In all reality, you can learn a lot just by looking.
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