Not Even Looking

By: Payton M. Ishmael

For as long as I can remember, my favorite shopping partner has been and will remain to be my Anna. I cringe to think of what my wardrobe might consist of had it not been for her guidance. Granted, there have been a few times we’ve disagreed, primarily when silly trends hit the department stores. For the most part, however, we agree on the same stores, styles, and purchases. Like so many other obsessive shoppers, we seem to face tragedy when we’re looking for something in particular. We can browse every aisle of a dozen boutiques to turn up empty handed and absent of that one particular item for which we’re looking. It’s when we’re not looking for a specific item that the very best ensembles sneak up on us.

I recall the most fruitless search to be the day we set out shopping for clothes to wear for sorority recruitment. We visited our very most favorite retailers, but just couldn’t seem to find the perfect outfits. We exhausted all possible resources to conquer our mission, but all attempts lead to no avail. We employed the assistance of sales associates, browsed from every display to rack, and even made vain attempts at trying on clothes in hopes they looked better on-person than on-hanger. Mission: aborted because we refused to fail.

Then there are the absolutely glorious days when a simple stroll through the mall produces a shopping spree of the most holy kind. My claim hints no exaggeration. These experiences are positively Heavenly. Again, Anna and I made the entrepreneurial decision to aid in boosting the U.S. economy, so we chose the only retail avenue where we could most assuredly do our part; North Park. Our mission was simple; to enjoy the day stress-free with no intended item in mind except for the inevitable daily dose of java. For some reason, there seems always to be a golden light gleaming from within BCBG. This day the aura of the place compelled our visitation. My fitting room was full before I even made it through half of the store. I was enamored by so many dresses that it required decision-making. This was much opposite the afore-mentioned shopping day. Still hanging in my closet today are the black and blue off-the shoulder and the rose, halter neck dresses. The taste of those finds was made oh so sweet because we weren’t even looking for them.

Jobs. Friends. Clothes. Good Deals. Love. Blessings. It seems so many of life’s gifts grace our lives when we’re not looking, searching, or anticipating their arrival. It’s a waste to spend our whole lives searching, when there’s so much living to do. Seeking success, looking for love, and hunting for happiness can become a fatally detrimental lifestyle. There’s no use in squandering time on something we have no control over. Instead, I suggest that we seize the day, take advantage of every opportunity, and capture every monumental moment. As we live this life to the very fullest, we’ll be amazed by all the wonders that show up when we’re not even looking.

Falling Fabulously Apart

By: Payton M. Ishmael

Reorganizing my closets is always a daunting task. There’s no possible way to simply rearrange the contents. On the contrary, my solitary option is to remove everything and put it all back in a neat and orderly fashion. This includes shoes, handbags, clothing and anything else that has found its way inside the albeit ‘black hole’ that stores my attire. Only after the wardrobe is completely disassembled can I properly and efficiently put it back together.

Unfortunately, my lovely tulips operate in this same fashion. Their beauty graced my front flowerbed for a short month’s time. Their presence was breath-taking to say the least. Then, the petals slowly began to dwindle away. Now, only a memory is left of their elegance. They have withdrawn themselves completely so that they can prepare to make their dazzling debut once again next year.

I can think of countless examples of things that must be completely undone in order to be accurately redone. I love when Julia Roberts ties Richard Gere’s tie in Pretty Woman. As a result, I learned how. During the learning process, though, I couldn’t stop half way through to repeat a single step. Instead, I had to straighten the tie out to its original state and complete the process from the beginning again and again and again. I’m a picky perfectionist when it comes to clothing and presentation. Bows have become a sort of nemesis to me; Hair bows, bows on dresses, ribbon on jewelry, shoe strings, and the list goes on. On myself, my students, or complete strangers, bows seem always to need adjusting. I’ve therefore elected myself rescuer of sloppy bows. Again here, there’s no way to readjust. Unfortunately, and often uncomfortably, I have to completely untie to retie.

Having a thorough understanding of this concept, I’m flabbergasted that I ever worried and wondered why my life came completely undone. From an extraordinary fairy-tale where I couldn’t ask for more, to being at my wit’s end in panic and chaos, my primary question was “why?” and my focal plea was “help!” All the pieces I had so neatly planned since childhood were falling apart like holding a puzzle in the air and watching all the little pieces fall to the floor in slow motion. You see, it was a puzzle that I had patiently taken my time on and joyfully watched evolve into a beautiful creation. Like a kid whose sand castle has just been destroyed, I was in the midst of despair.

Most fortunately, luckily, and blessedly now, I can look at my puzzle subjectively, from the point of view of an onlooker. All of these pieces that fell and are falling to the floor are being put in very specific places for purposeful reasons. Although the pieces are still mine, the positioning is much different and much more beautiful than I ever imagined. The Master of the Wind is the now the architect of my life and as I take a step back and look at what He’s doing, I know that all my panic, worry, and sorrow were in vain. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” –Romans 8:28 I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason, but I know that good has the potential to come from everything if we allow it. Sometimes, we have to get the whole closet cleaned completely out and wreak havoc on complacency, routine, and organization in order to get things right.

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” –Marilyn Monroe

Just Around the Corner

By: Payton M. Ishmael

Pitch dark. Creaky doors. Deathly chills. Spooky sounds. Shrieking screams. I’ve been through the mazed hallways of countless haunted houses. I confess, I’m often frightened by the ghouls, ghosts, and goblins that threaten their wicked ways upon all passersby. I learned early on, though, that the scariest part is always the experience of being startled or surprised. You never know what is around the next corner…

My solution to this sneaky realization is always to remind myself that from the front door of this treacherous place, throughout the monster-infested abode, all the way through the back door that concludes my risk for danger, those crazy lunatics can’t hurt, take, or even touch me. I’m protected. Instead, I’m confident that regardless of what kind of ogre tries to throw me off path, eventually the sudden twists and turns will concede and I will at last grasp the safe haven of light through the back door. I’ve blindly conquered the unknown and defeated the terror of mystery. I suppose the same is true of life. While traveling down the path of purpose, there is no way to predict what waits ahead. Instead, we’re left no choice but to keep on keeping on facing all the fast balls, curve balls, or whatever else may come our way. You never know what is around the next corner…

I played tee-ball as a child, but that’s about as far as my baseball expertise extends. Sometimes I want to scream to the world, “I’m not a baseball player. Enough with the curve balls already.” As you know, however, the pitches will continue coming across the plate. And though we’d like to see pitches that we can successfully knock out of the park, there are times when we’re going to be terrified of what’s coming our way. Our best option, swing batter batter batter swing! Don’t sit idly by and watch the less desirable sneak across until you strike out.

There’s hope in knowing that all these crazy situations we face, can change in a split second much to our pleasant surprise. A new job opportunity. A clear bill of health. A financial blessing. Be patient in hope. Sometimes life’s sweetest surprises are disguised as the ugliest curve balls. Step up to the plate. It’s ball time!

Purposeful Pieces

By: Payton M. Ishmael My fourth grade classroom operates much like Wall Street. Each of my twenty-one sweet little angels has a job that they are responsible for completing each day. The first couple days, or perhaps weeks of the school year, we might slip up and forget a task or two in the process of getting acquainted with our daily routine. It doesn’t take long, though, until the hours of 7:30-3:30 function succinctly like New York City’s financial district; days that present new experiences, but individual agendas that rarely stray from day to day.

When everyone is present and participating, the days go smoothly. Since some jobs are pre-requisites for others, the students realize how important their responsibilities are. Without them actively fulfilling their duties, the entire operation of the work environment suffers. The same is true of life. We have not just been given a purpose, no, but were created specifically for a divine plan. I can’t pinpoint anyone’s calling, I continue to struggle in finding my own. I do know, however, that I am not adequate to fulfill your responsibilities, nor you mine. I cannot take the place of the preacher, musicians, or singers. I can barely balance my own checkbook, so I can’t take on the role of the church clerk. I’m not an electrician. I can’t run the sound. I don’t even know how to start a motorcycle. But if one of these people decided not to pursue their purpose, imagine the loss we would be forced to endure.

I know from experience that when 9 and 10-year-olds either elect not to fulfill their duties or simply forget, chaos abounds. Our to-do list doesn’t get finished, organization is compromised, and confusion reins. Individual accountability is required for the efficient functioning of any organization.

Take for example, life as we know it. We each have gifts and callings. If we are not pursuing these, we are depriving not only ourselves, but those around us. There shouldn’t be a conundrum of crediting the wrong person for a job well done, because we should be taking care of our own business. “For the sake, of the call, I am laying down my own. No turning back. We’re looking straight ahead. It’s all for the sake of the call.”

When we deny, avoid, or ignore the divine road map that has been constructed especially for us, we’re dealing a terrible injustice to the operation of life. Don’t call on someone to do a job that’s been given you. You are a crucial piece of this puzzle we call purpose.

Step up. Step out. Move forward. Your purpose is waiting…